Lost you forever - Chapter 14
Chapter 14 – This Feeling Has No Strategy to Remove:
Xiao Yao didn’t know how much time had passed when she finally touched something solid. She grabbed onto it tightly and opened her eyes. It was a rock and her entire body collapsed on the rock. She could see in the distance a dark figure standing alone on another rock.
The sun was rising and the dawn was cold and misty. The figure seemed to blend into the rock, standing in the distance, appearing to wait forever more.
Xiao Yao didn’t know if she was too tired, or happy, but her voice was gone and she couldn’t call out. She weakly raised her hand to wave but nothing moved. Finally the figure saw her and didn’t even bother to walk along the shoreline and instead dove into the ocean and swam to Xiao Yao. Jing held her up and the two of them were treading water. Xiao Yao was so exhausted she was shivering, and for whatever reason, Jing was also shivering.
Xiao Yao said “Don’t….don’t….in the water.” After a night in the water, she didn’t want to be here anymore.
Jing carried her on shore but after taking a few steps his foot slipped and he fell back. He was afraid she would be hurt so turned to land on his back with a loud thud.
Xiao Yao laughed “You…..you……nine….fox…..stupid…..”
They finally reached shore and Jing carried Xiao Yao to rest under a cliff outcropping. Xiao Yao’s face was white and her lips were black with cold. Jing put one hand on her back and the other on her palm and transferred power into her. Gradually it moved through her body and she stopped shivering.
It was bright sun outside by now but under the outcropping they were in the shade.
Jing saw that Xiao Yao was warm and took back the hand that was on her back, and was going to release the hand on her palm. But he didn’t bear to so his hand released and then tightened. Xiao Yao teased him “You were much bolder back then, when did you lose your courage?”
Jing released her hand “Now is not the same as before.”
“What’s changed?”
Jing looked at her and then swiftly lowered his eyes.
Xiao Yao touched her wild and wet hair and the patted her cheeks. Her face was likely no better off and equally a mess. She decided when she got back she was going to teach that Ah Nian a damn painful lesson. Xiao Yao stood up “I’m going back.”
Jing hurriedly stood up and grabbed her arm, but then released it like he was shocked by electricity, his face blushing red. Gao Xing’s clothes were light and airy, so after it got wet the robe was plastered to Xiao Yao. It wasn’t as noticeable earlier since she was sitting down, but now that she stood up, from her trim waist to her full bosom, it was all on display.
Xiao Yao noticed Jing’s expression and glanced down at herself before immediately squatting into a ball and wrapping her arms around her knees.
Jing sat down across from her and said softly “Can you stay for a bit before going back? Just a little bit.”
Xiao Yao said nothing.
“I waited for you all night and thought you weren’t coming.”
Xiao Yao said angrily “If you thought I wasn’t coming, then why keep waiting?”
Jing didn’t know how to answer. If she didn’t come, then he didn’t know where else to go. In this dark deep place, he once experienced the sweetest happiness, but the one who gave him the happiness was Xiao Liu. It wasn’t this girl before him now. If she took back her promise, he would completely understand.
Xiao Yao got on her knees and faced him, her eyes reflecting her anger “Do you think waiting all night was hard? You have a fiancee! You step out with her all the time together, and then you find any opportunity to remind me of my promise to you. If you don’t trust me, then why ask me to promise? Let me tell you, last night I tried to keep the promise and almost died!”
Xiao Yao shoved Jing hard “I don’t want to play anymore. I take back my promise! You scram back to Qing Qiu and go marry Fang Feng Yi Yang!”
Jing didn’t dare do anything back to her but he also didn’t budge “I won’t marry her. She doesn’t like me so she likely doesn’t want to marry me either.”
Xiao Yao stopped shoving “I don’t believe it! Why reason does she have to not like you?”
“I’m a cripple and I can tell she’s shocked and dismayed. One time she saw the scars on my body and was shocked…..” To say “shocked” was an understatement, Yi Yang’s face was stark white and she was petrified, not daring to look at him in that moment. Since then, when they were alone together, she would purposely keep her distance from him.
Xiao Yao felt terrible, she knew Jing had a crippled leg and his scars were truly scary, but that shouldn’t be a reason to dislike him. Xiao Yao said “You guys have been engaged for tens of years, shouldn’t she not care about such external trappings?”
“In truth, before I saw her in Qing Shui Town, I didn’t even know what she looked like. We never met before and she was chosen by my mother. By then my mother was very sick and I didn’t want her to fret over my marriage so I agreed immediately. I took care of my mother and ran the businesses so I was so busy I didn’t care much about this. It was my brother who went off to meet her and came back with a smile and told me “congrats, she’s beautiful and smart”. After mother died, I had to take care of my despondent brother so was in no mood for romance. After my grandmother revealed my brother’s birth, I was even less inclined to think about this. Then my grandmother wanted to set the wedding date and that was when I remembered I had a fiancee. My grandmother is elderly and my sister-in-law is of no use so the Tu Shan clan needs a lady of the house to help my grandmother with her worries. After my grandmother discussed with the clan elders, they set a wedding date but before it arrived, I was already captured by my brother.”
So Qing Shui Town was their first meeting, no wonder Fang Feng Yi Yang was disappointed…..Xiao Yao’s feelings were so conflicted, she felt angry and upset, but also somewhat happy. She really didn’t know what she was thinking.
After a moment, Xiao Yao said coolly “Miss Fang Feng is definitely very beautiful and she’s quite capable. If she’s got high standards that’s normal, don’t feel too bad about it.”
“You. Are the most beautiful.” Jing said that and then lowered his head.
“Even now?”
“Yes.”
Xiao Yao burst out laughing “Now I know why the young girls are putty in Zhuan Xu’s hands with his honeyed words. Even though I know you’re not telling the truth, I still like hearing it.”
“I’m telling the truth, Xiao Yao. I never imagined you would look like this. If I had known you were like this…..even in the dark prison I would have never dared to reveal my greatest wish….” Jing’s back was straight but his head was still lowered, like a tree growing in darkness. “My body, my voice….do you know why I never got my crippled leg healed even knowing I can? Because I know that even when I’m healed, the real injury is inside that no medicine can heal. I can wear clothes to cover up my hideous scars, I can use rare medicine to cure my crippled leg, I can talk less to conceal my voice, I can lie to everyone that I can still the dashing Young Master of Qing Qiu, but I can’t lie to myself……Xiao Yao, I’m not good enough for you! This time, there will be many handsome, smart, physically whole young men…..”
“Jing, raise your head! Tu Shan Jing, raise you head.”
Jing slowly raised his head and Xiao Yao put her face right in front of his and murmured “Last night, a man forced me to kiss him, but right now all I want to do is kiss you.” Her lips softly landed on his lips and Jing’s body shook and he darted backwards “No….Xiao Yao.”
Xiao Yao closed her eyes and raised her face, her cheeks bright red as her body softly shivered “Jing…..Jing…..”
Xiao Yao’s soft voice was so low he almost could hear what she was saying, but Jing was shaking as his lips touched the peach blossom birthmark on her forehead and it felt like a fire burned from Xiao Yao straight to his head. His cold heart warned up, with the hope that one day those scars concealed deep within his heart would also heal.
Jing tightly embraced Xiao Yao and buried his face in her neck, this joy like a dream where he just wanted to hold Xiao Yao forever and never let go.
Xiao Yao murmured “You’re suffocating me.”
Jing immediately released her with his face bright red. Xiao Yao chuckled and rested her head on his arm and looked at him. Jing was embarrassed so turned his head slightly “You said just now that you almost died last night, and also said…..”
Xiao Yao waved her hand casually “It’s nonsense, I just said it to scare you.”
Jing looked at Xiao Yao with doubt in his eyes, but he knew she didn’t want to discuss it anymore.
Xiao Yao laughed and pointed to her lips “Why not here?”
Jing said in a low voice “Now’s not the time yet.”
“What time then….” Xiao Yao lowered her eyes and used her hands to cover her face and her embarrassment.
Jing couldn’t answer because the choice was with Xiao Yao and not with him. It wasn’t that he didn’t desire her, but what he wanted was her love. He didn’t want her pity and care for him, she already gave him too much, he didn’t want to continue using her kindess.
Xiao Yao peeked at him through her fingers “I thought you men when you see a girl all want to push her down on the pallet and rip their clothes off….” Xiao Yao couldn’t continue, ever since she returned to being a girl, she couldn’t be as shameless as Xiao Liu anymore. Especially now, she was dying to take what she just said back.
Jing may have been very proper, but he was still the clan leader and would often go to places of pleasure to discuss business. Plus the scions of the powerful families were all experienced in the male-female relations, and Jing as a man clearly knew enough. In discussing business, he saw more and heard more explicit things then this and was always just fine with it. But facing Xiao Yao, he felt this fire burning through him and he tried to explain “I am not like that.”
The two were silent, their shyness conveyed in their awkwardness, mixed with the tender stirrings of happiness.
“Xiao Yao…..Xiao Yao…..” Zhuan Xu’s voice reached them.
The two jumped apart like thieves caught in the act, with Xiao Yao making a shushing gesture for Jing to go hide. Xiao Yao smoothed her hair and walked over to a rock to wave at Zhuan Xu “I’m here!”
Zhuan Xu ran over “How come you look so utterly pathetic?” He immediately took off his outer robe and wrapped her up in it.
Xiao Yao said “How did I end up looking so pathetic? It’s your little sister, I’m going to deal with Ah Nian when I get back.”
Zhuan Xu summoned a cloud carriage and helped Xiao Yao inside “I thought you were going to keep on enduring.”
Xiao Yao glanced at the rocks and got in “If I don’t teach her a lesson, I’m worried the next thing she does will make you and daddy heartbroken.”
“What did she do?”
Xiao Yao smiled mysteriously “That’s between us sisters and you don’t need to get involved.” If Zhuan Xu knew that Ah Nian worked with Xiang Liu to scheme against her, he would literally blow a gasket on her.
Zhuan Xu asked “Did you see Jing?”
“I did.”
“What did you two….talk about?”
“We just chatted, he said a bit about him and Fang Feng Yi Yang…and other stuff.”
Zhuan Xu asked in half seriousness half casual laughter “Just chatting and you spent the entire night out of the Palace?”
Xiao Yao huffed back in righteousness “Do I look like someone who happily played all night? If it wasn’t for your good little sister, I would have long been back to the Palace and sleeping.”
Zhuan Xu picked up her hair and saw seaweed and sand in it and shook his head with a smile “You definitely look like you got worked over. You finally got taken advantage of by Ah Nian, and you really need to stop calling her my little sister. Based on family, she’s your little sister!”
Xiao Yao scrunched her face up and then suddenly remembered something and asked “That Tu Shan Hou, what do you think about him?’
“Not bad.”
Xiao Yao appeared curious so Zhuan Xu went into more detail “He’s very talented and compared to Jing he has even more commanding aura. During the years Jing went missing, he handled all the Tu Shan clan affairs and did a good job. Once Jing came back, he had to step aside. I find it strange since they are twins and Hou is the older one, and he’s talented in a way equal to Jing, he ought to be the clan leader. But the clan favors Jing and even Feng Long’s group doesn’t seem to take Hou seriously. Especially Feng Long, who is always polite to Hou, but it feels fake compared to his attitude towards Jing. In the powerful families, you can tell the importance of a person based on how the others treat him. Hou has been accepted because of his Tu Shan last name but it’s clear Feng Long doesn’t truly see him as an equal. But I have a feeling Hou isn’t content to be number 2, he’s just biding his time and I can see the ambition in his eyes.”
Xiao Yao nodded “Looks like you have a good impression of him.”
Zhuan Xu laughed in mockery “That’s because he’s a lot like me, we are both waiting patiently for the right time to take the opponent out. We also want to prove ourselves to others.”
Xiao Yao’s expression turned grim but Zhuan Xu quickly said “Don’t worry, if Jing wasn’t so capable the Feng Long won’t respect him this much. If Jing wanted to, he could easily strike first and take out Hou. But I don’t know what he’s thinking by not doing anything.”
Zhuan Xu patted her shoulder “Seeing that you saved Jing’s life, as long as Jing doesn’t piss you off, then I’ll keep an eye on Hou. But I have my suspicion…..that Hou is in cahoots with our royal uncle.”
Xiao Yao relaxed “Is the Fang Feng family also in royal uncle’s pocket?”
“Seeing Fang Feng Yi Yang’s actions, probably yes. Otherwise she would not dare to try and assassinate me time and again. The only ones who want me dead desperately are our elder relatives, yes?”
Xiao Yao sighed “I’m so impressed, all you guys looking to take each other out, you can all hang out in laughter and spend time together.”
Zhuan Xu smiled “Don’t you think this is a form of entertainment?”
Xiao Yao laughed out loud “Definitely!”
The cloud carriage stopped and Xiao Yao jumped off and called to a maid “Find me a tattered outfit.”
The maid ran in and brought out an outfit that Ah Nian ruined. Xiao Yao handed Zhuan Xu’s robe back, put on the outfit, and walked off.
Zhuan Xu called out “Don’t you want to change before going to deal with Ah Nian?”
Xiao Yao turned around and flipped her seaweed and sand encrusted hair “I want this imposing presence!”
Zhuan Xu smiled “Then I’m not going to get involved, I’ll go find Feng Long and Xing Yue since they are leaving tomorrow.”
Xiao Yao waved “You go find your fun, I’m going to find my fun.”
Xiao Yao kicked open the door to Ah Nian’s residence and walked in. Clearly last night Ah Nian was worried about what she had done and didn’t sleep well and she immediately stood up.
The maids came to stop her “Eldest Princess, the Second Princess hasn’t risen yet. If you have something…..”
Xiao Yao shoved them all aside and then faced Hai Tang blocking her way “What? Are you going to fight with me?”
Hai Tang kneeled down “You servant I wouldn’t dare” but she didn’t move aside.
Xiao Yao hollered “Ah Nian, if you have the guts to do it, then have the guts to admit it! Hiding behind your maids? You’re a pathetic coward!”
Ah Nian yanked her door open and said to Hai Tang “Move aside, I want to see what she dares do. If she has the guts, then she should kill me today and then I’ll accept her!”
The maids fretted “Eldest Princess, Second Princess, you….”
Xiao Yao and Ah Nian both yelled simultaneously “Scram!”
The maids scurried to the side and Xiao Yao said “If you have the guts then invite me in to see what I’ll do to you.”
Ah Nian scoffed and moved aside. Xiao Yao walked in and locked the door and pointed at herself “You got together with someone else and did this to me. Are you happy now?”
Ah Nian sat down and poured herself a glass of water “Not bad.”
Xiao Yao dumped the entire pitcher of water in her face “You idiot without a brain!”
Ah Nian jumped up “You….You…..if I don’t beat you half to death today, then I’m not Gao Xing Yi!” She waved her hand and discovered her powers were gone and she couldn’t summon any water or ice.
Xiao Yao said “Let’s see you try!”
Ah Nian picked up a jade stick and tossed it at Xiao Yao, who picked up a zither to block it. The stick broke and Ah Nian picked up a mirror and lobbed it at Xiao Yao and destroyed the zither.
Xiao Yao grabbed boxes of make up and threw it at Ah Nian “You’re like a bull cow, you actually have some arm strength.”
Xiao Yao jumped onto the table and Ah Nian smashed the entire table. Xiao Yao ducked next to a shelf and grabbed some books to throw at Ah Nian. She blocked with a mirror and then destroyed the entire shelf.
Xiao Yao back towards the pallet and Ah Nian pressed close “Let’s see where you can hide now.”
Ah Nian tossed her mirror at Xiao Yao with all her strength, wanting this person to disappear forever. Xiao Yao jumped up like a monkey and avoided the strike, as she landed she grabbed the veil bed curtains and pulled it over Ah Nian. The curtains were impenetrable by sword or fire so Ah Nian’s struggles only made herself even more tightly bound.
Xiao Yao viciously kicked Ah Nian who fell over and her head hit the floor hard, so painful her face turned blue. Xiao Yao sat on Ah Nian “Gao Xing Yi, this is you! Once you lose your powers, you can’t do anything! Without your identity, you are nothing!”
Ah Nian started crying “You think you’re better than me? If your mom wasn’t the Xuan Yuan Princess then Zhuan Xu won’t care about you. If you’re not the granddaughter of the Yellow Emperor, no one will think you’re better than me. Other than your bloodline being more royal than me, there is nothing about you that is better than me. I trained my own powers and it’s stronger than you. You’re the disciple of the Royal Mother but you have barely any powers and can’t even beat a lowly demon. If it wasn’t for all your lofty backgrounds, then daddy wouldn’t have held a lavish ceremony for you. You think everyone showed up for you? No! They came because your dad is the Grand Emperor, your mom was the Xuan Yuan Princess, your grandfather is the Yellow Emperor, and your master is the Royal Mother! Other than those connections, you’re even less capable than me!”
So this was what was bothering Ah Nian, her insecurity. Xiao Yao thought and said “You are actually insecure that your mother’s birth was too low.”
Ah Nian screamed like a crazed animal “I’m not! I didn’t! My mom is the best in the entire world, don’t you dare speak of my mom like that…..”
Ah Nian tried to struggle up but Xiao Yao punched her in the nose and more tears and snot came out but she stopped struggling. Xiao Yao sat on her and said “You dare to deny it? Aren’t you angry because of your mom? You’re better than me at everything but because your mom was of low birth, and mute and deaf, so you’re not as revered as me. Don’t you think that if the Royal Mother was your master, you would be incredibly powerful. Don’t you think that if the Yellow Emperor was your grandfather, you wouldn’t be as useless as me.”
Ah Nian cried pitifully and Xiao Yao patted her cheeks “Can you swear you never thought these things before?”
Ah Nian’s cries grew louder. She never would admit that she blamed her mom but she did think it before. She wasn’t any less capable than Xiao Yao but everyone put her first. Wasn’t it because of Xiao Yao’s mom? If her mom wasn’t the Xuan Yuan Princess, if her mom was of the same low birth as Ah Nian’s mom, then everyone would treat Xiao Yao differently. She wouldn’t be able to influence the entire vast wilderness.
Ah Nian was stunned and wondered if she really did think poorly of her own mom.
No, no it cannot be. She was so gentle and so sad, she and her dad was all her mom had. She would never look down on her mom’s birth!
Xiao Yao hollered “If you have the guts to think it, then have the guts to admit it. Other than crying, what else can you do?”
Ah Nian kept crying so Xiao Liu took out some powder and spread it on the veil curtain. The impenetrable curtain actually burned a hole with the powder. She held the powder and said to Ah Nian “If you keep crying, I’ll blow this on your face.”
Ah Nian immediately tightly shut her lips and stared in fear at Xiao Yao, but she stopped sobbing out loud despite the tears streaming down her face.
Xiao Yao put the powder away “Now this is better for talking! Since I know your secret, I’ll tell you my secret. Your mom’s birth isn’t a big deal, it’s me who hates my mom’s birth. Don’t believe me? Our dad is truly capable and brilliant, all these years and no one ever slipped in front of you. I’ll tell you the secret – do you know why no one in Five Gods Mountain dares to mention my mom? Because she divorced our dad!:
Ah Nian forgot to cry and stared at Xiao Yao. There was a woman in the entire world who discarded the Grand Emperor?
“My mom divorced our dad and took me to Cao Yun Peak at Xuan Yuan Mountain. If that was it, then so be it, but for nation and country, she ran off to lead an army into battle so she stashed me with the Royal Mother at Jade Mountain. She lied that I was going there to play and would pick me up. But….she left and never came back. She died in battle! That horrible place Jade Mountain is not where a normal person can live. The maids act like they are deaf and mute, if the Royal Mother said ten sentences in a month she was being extra talkative. I prayed daily for my mom to come pick me up and I waited 70 years….but she….” Xiao Yao laughed coldly.
Xiao Yao leaned down and sincerely said to Ah Nian “Honestly, if the Heavens let me pick a mom, I want yours. She’s gentle and loving, very understanding of her place in life as she sees our dad as her entire world and follows him to the ends of the world. She may be a weak woman who can’t do anything, can’t talk about grand and powerful goals, but she can be with her daughter as she grows up. No matter when, if you miss her, she’s right there waiting for you. Even if the entire world abandoned you, she would still be by your side.”
Ah Nian was in a daze and Xiao Yao patted her cheek “Want to change moms with me?”
Ah Nian screamed “No! Never! My mom is mine!” as if Xiao Yao was going to steal her mom away.
Xiao Yao got off her and released her from the veil curtain “No matter if you want to or not, I’m part of your world. So going forward you have two paths to choose from.”
Xiao Yao didn’t fully release Ah Nian and just let her head out. She poked Ah Nian hard to make her sit up “The first path is this path, we don’t get along and you keep trying to hurt me, even getting help from others to do it. Do you know what the result of this path is?”
Ah Nian said nothing so Xiao Yao said “You’ll make our dad devastated, and you’ll lose Zhuan Xu.”
Ah Nian glared at Xiao Yao as Xiao Yao continued “To our dad, you and I are like his palm and the back of his hand. It’s both his flesh, and whether you or I hurt more, he will hurt equally. If he hurts, then your mother’s entire world will hurt as well. If your parents both hurt, I don’t believe you’ll be happy! As for Zhuan Xu, you refuse to admit it but you know the reality. I’m not going to shy away from being blunt – Zhuan Xu and I are blood relatives. In danger, we are each other’s support, and in fact we are each other’s only support in this entire world. If you really hurt me, Zhuan Xu will never forgive you!”
Xiao Yao added “The second road is very different – we exist peacefully. Stop glaring at me, I said peacefully not lovingly! Peacefully means we don’t bother each other, the Palace is so large and we can avoid each other easily. Think about this road – dad will be relieved and Zhuan Xu will still be very caring towards you, and your mom can live in peace.”
Ah Nian coldly scoffed “Just two paths?”
Xiao Yao laughed “There is a third one – we love each other and get along well. From then on, you don’t just have a dad and older brother who love you, you also have an older sister that dotes on you as well.”
“Ha! Dream on!”
Xiao Yao shrugged “I know it’s a dream which is why I didn’t even bother to mention it.”
Ah Nian lowered her head and contemplated so Xiao Yao didn’t push her anymore.
It was quiet inside so the noises from outside got loud all of a sudden. The maids were sobbing and pleading “Princesses, please stop fighting! We beg of you….. Wasn’t His majesty told about this, why hasn’t he sent someone here yet?”
After a few moments, Xiao Yao saw Ah Nian had calmed down and released her upper body from the veil curtain. Ah Nian immediately slapped Xiao Yao across the face and Xiao Yao pushed her back down on the ground hard and raised her fist “You want to keep fighting? Then let’s continue!”
Ah Nian raged “You kicked me in the stomach and punched me in the face. I slapped you back, now we’re even. From now on, we have nothing to do with each other!”
Xiao Yao said “Fine!”
Xiao Yao stood up and headed for the door “What you did with Xiang Liu, only you and I know. I won’t tell Zhuan Xu so you better never speak of it again either.”
Xiao Yao walked outside and all the maids gaped at her. When she returned to Ming Se Court, all her maids stared at her, too. “Princess….who….who beat you up?”
Xiao Yao walked to the mirror and saw a red palm print on her cheek, and then she thought about Ah Nian’s face all black and blue and laughed “In this Palace, other than the other Princess, who dares to hit me? Don’t worry, I didn’t let her get away with it. If you want to see how she ended up, run off to check it out.”
The maids remain rooted in place so Xiao Yao said “If you’re not going to go check it out, then draw me a hot bath. I want to wash off the stench of the ocean.”
The maids snapped out of it and ran off to prepare the bath and get her some medicine. Xiao Yao finished her bath and applied some medicine then had a meal before telling the maids “I’m going to sleep for two hours, remember to wake me up then.”
Xiao Yao slept peacefully for two hours and then the maids helped her dress to go out. Xiao Yao said “Something comfortable” and then added “And pretty. Something comfortable and pretty.:
The maids smiled under their heads and one brought out a yellow dress “This one needs to cinch the waist but it’s not as tight as formal wear. It’s quite comfortable actually.”
Xiao Yao smiled and chose this outfit. After getting dressed, she looked at herself in the mirror and sighed. With Ah Nian’s palm print still visible, she might as well have not put any powder on.
She put on a hat cover and accessories before taking a cloud carriage out of the Palace. Zhuan Xu said Feng Long was leaving tomorrow which meant Jing was also leaving tomorrow. With this parting, it wasn’t clear when they would see each other again so she wanted to see him one more time before he left.
She arrived at the Tu Shan residence in Ying Province but heard from the guard outside “Master Jing went shopping likely to buy local products to take home for the family.”
Xiao Yao thought Jing would rest but he went out with the others likely to not let people know he was out all night. Remembering his two fox tail dolls, if he wanted to conceal his whereabouts, it would be hard for the world to find out what he was up to.
With Jing not around, Xiao Yao was bored and didn’t want to go right back so decided to walk around town. The last time she was here she was still a kid. Back then only low powered Gods lived here, it was lovely but not very lively. Now there were many humans living here, and even demons, and everyone mixed together made the entire town bustling. Everyone appeared to coexist as equals and were mannered and polite.
Xiao Yao felt so proud of her dad. Since she came back, she could tell her dad wasn’t happy, and he said he used everything he had to exchange for this, so this was likely what her dad wanted!
Xiao Yao saw a set of coral boxes inlaid within each other. The larger ones could hold accessories while the smaller could be used for make up. Xiao Yao wanted to buy it for her maid and asked “How much?’
A girl’s voice rang out “I want this, wrap it up.”
Xiao Yao didn’t have to buy it but felt the other girl was so rude so said to the shop owner “I saw this first and asked the price first. If I didn’t pass on it, then you can’t sell it to someone else.”
The shop owner apologized to the other girl “She’s correct, this is the etiquette of shopping.”
The girl said “Whatever the price, I’ll pay double.”
Another girl said “The detail is passable but the coral isn’t very good. If little sister wants it, I’ll order my master artisans to craft a coral set just for you.”
Xiao Yao felt their voices were familiar and turned around to see it was Xing Yue and Yi Yang.
Feng Long and Zhuan Xu was walking over with a few servants trailing them. Xing Yue said to a servant “Pack up this coral box” and then glanced at Xiao Yao before turning to Yi Yang “I’m not someone who hasn’t seen nice things, this is hardly worth my time. I just think it’s interesting so want to buy it as a reward for my maids.”
Xiao Yao wasn’t accustomed to using words to match wits with someone like Xing Yue, and actually wished Ah Nian or Hai Tang were around right now. She remembered the way Hai Tang asked Xing Yue’s had for a stack of rare wood and started laughing and said “If the lady likes it, then she can have it.”
Zhuan Xu called out “Xiao Yao! It’s really you! How come you’re out shopping?”
Xiao Yao said “I was bored so came out for a stroll.” She glanced towards Jing and saw quiet joy in his sleep deprived eyes and Xiao Yao couldn’t help but mask her small smile.
Despite it being casual conversation, it was clear Zhuan Xu and Xiao Yao were very close. Xing Yue warily looked at Xiao Yao and then said to Zhuan Xu “Your lady friends are so many, randomly bumping into one while shopping on the street.”
Feng Long and Hou both laughed while Zhuan Xu cleared his throat and made introductions “Didn’t you guys all want to meet my cousin last night? This is my cousin.”
Feng Long stopped laughing and everyone got serious and respectfully greeted Xiao Yao. When Feng Long raised his head, he carefully looked at her but her face was covered in a veiled hat so he couldn’t see her features.
Xiao Yao greeted everyone back and glanced at Tu Shan Hou. She thought even if he was handsome, he likely looked rather beastly, but who knew he was unexpectedly dashing. He looked very similar to Jing, but harder, fiercer, and he had a small scar on the corner of his lips which gave off the aura of intensity even when he smiled.
Xing Yue handed the coral box to Xiao Yao with a laugh “I’m so sorry, because we’re leaving tomorrow and chanced upon this unique present, I got anxious and wanted to buy it. Please accept it as an apology.”
Xiao Yao was impressed, undoubtedly a child raised by one of the two largest noble clans so she had finesse. She looked at Zhuan Xu and he nodded so she accepted with a smile “Thank you.”
Xing Yue was ecstatic “It’s more fun to shop with more people, please come with us!”
“Sure!” Xiao Yao agreed.
Everyone shopped and talked but Xiao Yao didn’t say much though everyone was very solicitous of her and the entire outing was very pleasant.
Xing Yue and Feng Long bought a lot and their servants had their hands full in boxes and bags. Xing Yue apologized “Don’t laugh at us, both our parents sides are large families and if we visit Five Gods Mountain and don’t bring presents home, it’s rude. And if we give something to one side, we have to give to the other.”
Hou said “We won’t laugh, we’re all just envious.”
Xing Yue smiled.
Xiao Yao thought that Xing Yue was very nice to Hou, and treated him the same as she treated Jing.
Xing Yue said “I can’t shop anymore, let’s find a place to rest.”
Zhuan Xu said “I knew you were tired out. There is a restaurant over there that has good food. It’s almost dinner time, why don’t we have dinner there and it’ll be my farewell treat.”
Zhuan Xu led everyone to the restaurant and the owner came out and greeted them before leading them to a private rooftop area. It was surrounded by two sides as tall as buildings and lots of flowers and vines were growing along the sides, giving off the mood of dining in the mountains.
Xing Yue complimented to Zhuan Xu “This place is lovely.”
The owner led them to a square table with two seats at each side. Xiao Yao glanced at Zhuan Xu before sitting but before she could choose, Xing Yue placed her next to Feng Long, then took the seat to her left beside Zhuan Xu, that left Yi Yang and Jing across from Xiao Yao and Feng Long, and Hou took the solo seat on the final side.
The owner brought various types of wines, some were fierce and strong, others light and sweet like honey. He then placed several plates of fruits and appetizers on the table to start.
He saw Zhuan Xu nod in approval and then excused himself.
Feng Long laughed “You don’t seem like a customer and more like the owner.”
Zhuan Xu chucked “I’m not going to lie to you guys, I am the owner here. I like making wine and it’s no fun to drink alone so I opened a few stores.”
Xing Yue was interested so continued the conversation, with Yi Yang and Hou also joining in so the talk was flowing.
Feng Long used a clean chopstick and picked up some vegetables for Xiao Yao and placed it on her plate “I saw you ate this first but then didn’t take anymore. You must like it but if it’s too far to reach, I can get you some.”
Xiao Yao glanced at Jing and then ate a piece before saying “Thank you.”
Feng Long had tried all the wines and poured a sweet fruit wine for Xiao Yao “Try this.”
Xiao Yao accepted it and said “You chat with them, no need to take care of me.”
Xing Yue heard and interjected “My Gege isn’t like this normally, usually people take care of him and he never takes care of others. He’s definitely different today, and I’ve never seen him so solicitous of even me.”
Feng Long chastised her “Nonsense!”
Xing Yue made a face back and turned to Jing “Jing gege, you’re close with my brother, am I talking nonsense?”
Jing smiled “No, it’s not nonsense.”
Feng Long was not happy and pointed at Jing before saying to Yi Yang “Sister-in-law, please help shut him up for me.”
Yi Yang’s face was red with embarrassment and she glanced at Hou before saying “Stop it!” before swiftly putting some food on Jing’s plate and pouring him a cup of wine.
Feng Long shook his head “This doesn’t count as shutting his lips up.”
Feng Long and Xing Yue were playfully cheering her on so Yi Yang didn’t mind and picked up a cup of wine and placed it under Jing’s lips and said “Please enjoy.”
Jing sat there stiffly and didn’t move, a very awkward smile on his face.
Folks were cheering and Feng Long wondered “Eh? You’re not awkward normally, how come you’re so proper today?”
Jing lowered his eyes and drank the cup of wine from Yi Yang’s hand. Zhuan Xu and Feng Long clapped and Feng Long said “Good for sister-in-law!”
Hou also laughed and Yi Yang glanced at him before breaking into a smile.
Xiao Yao felt her heart tighten and ate all the vegetables on her plate and Feng Long got her another serving.
Yi Yang said “Xiao Yao, there are no other people here, why don’t you take off your hat and be more comfortable.”
Xing Yue concurred “Yes, yes.”
Xiao Yao apologized “It’s not that I don’t want to, but I must have eaten something and I have pimples on my face and it’s not suitable to show it to folks.”
Yi Yang and Xing Yue both sighed and Xing Yue turned to Feng Long “Don’t say your sister didn’t try to help you, it’s the Heavens not helping you.”
Waiters came back and set down piping hot plates of food and a few more jugs of wine. Xing Yue tried a bite and turned to Zhuan Xu “It’s delicious.”
Zhuan Xu laughed “With your compliment, I’ll have to reward the chef when I get back.”
Talk turned to the various families in the vast wilderness, which capable descendants have risen up the ranks, what folks liked, conversation was easy going but within it held lots of important details.
Jing silently drank his wine and his friends appeared to be used to him so didn’t think it weird. He seemed zone out but whenever Feng Long or Zhuan Xu asked him something, he was always able to respond, clearly aware of everything said around him.
Xiao Yao grabbed the strongest wine and started downing it, gradually her bones grew soft and she curled up like a cat, with her one hand propping up her head and the other holding a wine cup.
Feng Long didn’t seem to find it strange and kept pouring her more as he poured himself more, as if they were having a drinking game. Zhuan Xu noticed and said “Feng Long, don’t get my little sister drunk.”
Feng Long sighed “Who gets who drunk is not clear yet.”
Zhuan Xu knew Xiao Yao’s tolerance so said nothing, and lo and behold Feng Long got drunk first. Everyone else was all tipsy and it wasn’t clear who suggested heading out to sea and no one objected.
They headed to a nearby port where Zhuan Xu had a boat ready and they all boarded and headed out to sea.
On the boat and with the cold sea air blowing, everyone’s drunkenness dissipated somewhat. Perhaps because they were all still so young, or maybe tomorrow was farewell, but everyone was in the mood to keep making merry so the wine continued to flow.
Yi Yang got drunk and pulled Xing Yue to dance on the deck. Feng Long saw a giant fish swim by and said he was going to catch it and with a plop he jumped overboard. Zhuan Xu freaked out but Xing Yue laughed “Don’t worry! He’s the son of the Chi Sui clan, he goes crazy around water! Anyone can drown except him!”
Zhuan Xu wasn’t sure and wanted a servant to go with him but they only brought one servant to steer the boat. Hou put down his drink “I’ll go keep him company” and then with a plop he was in the water as well.
Zhuan Xu stood at the bow and stared out into the ocean and Yi Yang said with a smile “Don’t worry, he’s caught plenty of sea monsters and creatures since he was a kid. We might need to worry more that he’ll bring some crazy seafood back soon.”
Zhuan Xu felt the wine getting to his head and it started hurting.
Yi Yang turned to Xing Yue with a smile “I’m going to catch the moon, wanna come?” Xing Yue shook her head and pointed back at Yi Yang “You’re really drunk.” Plop, Yi Yang swanned into the water.
Xing Yue laughed while Zhuan Xu said wearily “Should I continue to not worry?”
Xing Yue laughed “I don’t know her water power talents, but we’ll know if we go in the water too.” She pulled Zhuan Xu who said “I can’t swim, you know that.”
Xing Yue’s eyes glittered like seductive stars “I know you can’t swim. But jump down with me!”
Zhuan Xu said nothing and looked at Xing Yue while she laughed with a fire burning in her eyes “Do you dare put your life in my hands?” She walked backwards still staring at Zhuan Xu before she fell overboard with her back arching.
Zhuan Xu smiled and walked over and vaulted into the water.
Xiao Yao laughed as she drank her wine and sprawled on the boat thinking to herself that if it wasn’t for Xiang Liu that bastard demon tormenting her last night, she would have jumped in right now.
Jing silently walked behind her and she turned and sat down on the deck and scoffed “Now you dare get close to me?”
Jing said nothing and Xiao Yao raised her empty cup. Jing poured her another cup and she handed the cup to him. He thought she wanted him to drink and was about to when she lifted her veil and pointed to her lips.
Jing placed the cup of wine under her lips and she grabbed his hand to drink it slowly.
The alcohol rushed up and her head was splitting in pain as her stomach roiled. She knew she was really drunk this time so she pushed Jing aside and leaned against the ship to wait for the nausea to pass.
Jing took a few pills and placed it under Xiao Yao’s nose for her to sniff. She said “You haven’t forgotten what I taught you.”
“I will never forget.”
“Seeing Feng Long so nice to me, does your heart hurt?”
“It hurts.” Jing paused and said slowly “It hurts a lot.”
Xiao Yao laughed “Seeing you hurt, now I feel better.”
Jing’s hand brushed her face “Who hit you?”
Xiao Yao said “Ah Nian, I kicked her a few times and punched her in the face. We’re even.”
Jing’s hand accumulated his power and he was lightly rubbing her cheek to make the swelling go down but she pushed his hand away “Your mom picked well. Fang Feng Yi Yang is a good wife to have, you two are very suited for each other.”
All the blood color in Jing’s face disappeared and he lowered his head “I knew this morning felt like a dream. I was happy all day, and when I saw you shopping I thought you came to see me, and I was even happier….”
Xiao Yao silently sat on desk and said nothing.
Xiao Yao remembered when she saved Shi Qi, he would silently lay there and accept whatever Xiao Yao did to him. He didn’t express pain, or hunger, or thirst, and many times she thought Shi Qi was dead and touched his pulse to confirm he was still alive.
Xiao Yao felt her heart hurt and then she felt her stomach coming up so she leaned over the railing and threw up.
Jing patted her back until she was done, then handed her water to rinse her mouth. Xiao Yao’s head hurt and feet were like lead. Jing held her and gently helped her sit down.
Jing smoothed her hair back from her face when Xiao Yao suddenly grabbed him around the waist and murmured “I did go see you this afternoon, if you don’t believe me go ask your guard. I couldn’t find you so I went shopping.”
Jing held Xiao Yao and rested his cheek on her head. It was just a short time, he sunk to the depths of despair and now vaulted back up to the clouds of happiness.
He felt Xiao Yao’s body sinking and looked down to see that she was fast asleep. He smiled and adjusted their positions so that she was sleeping in his arms.
The sea breeze was gently blowing as the boat was rocked by the waves. He looked up at the moon and wanted to spend this night like this.
Jing looked at the jug of wine beside him and placed his hand on it and a white mist rose from the jug and enveloped the entire boat in thick white fog. It was like the entire boat had been consumed by the sea and nothing was left from the outside.
Jing lowered his head to look at the sleeping Xiao Yao and his fingers gently traced her face, over and over, until even if he lost his sight one day, he would still be able to see her face.
After an hour, Xiao Yao stirred and called out “Shi Qi” before opening her eyes. Jing smiled at her and she said “I think I fell asleep.”
“Yes.”
“They are not back yet?”
“No.”
Xiao Yao sighed “Normally one is more serious than the other, who knew they were all a bunch of lunatics.”
Jing said “I’m not interested in Yi Yang and she’s not interested in me. This time when I go back, I’ll tell my grandmother to end the engagement.”
“Hhmmm, huh?” Xiao Yao’s mind was still fuzzy so it told her a moment to process it “How do you know? She’s so nice to you…..”
Jing cut her off “Xiao Yao, I’ve met plenty of women interested in me, I know how a woman looks at a man she wants. No matter how nice she is to me, she’s never looked at me like that. And now…..” Jing stroked her hair “Now I know what it feels like to want someone, I’m not wrong!”
Xiao Yao released a sigh “Okay.”
Jing actually felt worse because Xiao Yao didn’t see that when he was alone with Yi Yang, the way she looked at him. Xiao Yao never thought of him as crippled so thought Yi Yang would feel the same, she thought others saw him the way she saw him.
Xiao Yao suddenly thought of something and sat up excitedly “If she doesn’t want you, then come back to be my Shi Qi!” Her eyes lit up “You worried back then that Tu Shan Hou that lunatic would harm Lao Mu and me so you went back to being Tu Shan Jing. But Wen Xiao Liu is gone now and I’m the Gao Xing Princess. Tu Shan Hou can’t harm me, you can come back to be Shi Qi.”
Jing stared at Xiao Yao, saying nothing but the sadness was evident in his eyes.
Xiao Yao calmed down and mocked herself “Did I just talk nonsense?” Jing disappeared once already, if it happened again, forget Tu Shan Hou, his grandmother wouldn’t accept his death until she saw his corpse with her own eyes.
Jing said in a low voice “It’s not nonsense, bu things have changed. After going back, I realized my brother has been leading the clan into danger. If I leave, I worry he will destroy the family. Xiao Yao, give me some time, okay? I’ll take care of everything.” It actually wasn’t just his family, if Xiao Yao was Wen Xiao Liu then he would be Ye Shi Qi with her in some remote mountain for the rest of their lives. But she was the Gao Xing Princess, and seeing her at the massive royal ceremony, he knew that neither of them could go back. A man who deserved to be with Xiao Yao couldn’t be a coward, if he wanted to be with her, then he needed to end the engagement. He needed to be Tu Shan Jing and openly walk to be with Xiao Yao.
Xiao Yao smiled “You have fifteen years, Jing. What are you planning to do?”
“I don’t know, but I know I will come back to you. I’ve promised to listen to you for the rest of my life…..” Jing’s forehead rested on Xiao Yao’s forehead and he prayed “Please keep your heart for me.”
Xiao Yao’s hands sank into his hair and she grabbed it “I can tell you’re a sneaky one, even if I want to forget it, you’ll find ways to keep reminding. You say you don’t dare hope, but then you don’t let go either.”
Jing’s voice conveyed his torment “I….I just cannot…..I know you deserve better, but I cannot…..I’m sorry…..”
Xiao Yao quickly said “I understand, I understand.”
Jing said in a low voice “You don’t understand.”
Xiao Yao was honest “I don’t understand, but I have to try and reassure you.”
Jing laughed and then sighed “They are coming back.”
Xiao Yao looked up “It’s almost sunrise, they ought to be back.”
Jing looked at Xiao Yao and wanted to put the hat on her but she held his hand and wouldn’t let him. She bit her lips and closed her eyes. Jing tenderly kissed her on the forehead, until the very last minute when he lifted his head and put the hat on her.
Xiao Yao ran to the back of the boat to fix her clothes and hair. She heard Xing Yue, Zhuan Xu, and Feng Long talking. She looked up and saw Jing’s hair was a mess from her raking her fingers through it. It was too late to tell him and her face darkened with worry. Then she saw Jing stand up and release the band tying his hair up and sent his hair flying in the sea breeze. He leaned against the railing and looked up at the sunrise.
Xiao Yao’s heart leaped to her chest like a little deer lost. Zhuan Xu had to call her a few times to get her attention. He pushed her softly “What are you thinking?”
Xiao Yao quickly said “Oh, you guys are back.” Her face was bright red but thankfully it was covered by the veil so no one could see it. Zhuan Xu seemed to understand something and concern flitted across his eyes.
Xing Yue complained about how they forgot where the boat was so swam for a long time before finding it, and how they didn’t run into Yi Yang and Hou and hoped they were alright.
Yi Yang swam towards the boat and Xing Yue ran over to pull her up “Did you guys also can’t find the boat?”
Yi Yang paused and then smiled “Yeah.”
Zhuan Xu said “There is breakfast inside the cabin, if you guys are hungry go ahead and eat.” Those who swam all night went in and Xiao Yao and Jing followed.
Feng Long asked Xiao Yao “Want some breakfast?”
Xiao Yao said “I can get it myself, you enjoy.”
Zhuan Xu glanced at her with a smirk and she glared back: how dare you tease me?
Everyone seemed tired so there wasn’t a lot of talk, and even when breakfast was done Hou was still not back.
Xing Yue worriedly asked “Is Hou gege alright?”
Jing said “With his ability, he should be fine. I’ll have little fox go find him.” He took out a little astral nine-tailed fox from his sleeve but it went nowhere and instead yipped in one direction before running back into Jing’s sleeve.
Jing said “Hou is back.”
In a few minutes, Hou was visible in the distance. He was riding a giant fierce monster fish and was shirtless as he ripped his robe into cloth strips to create a harness to control the fish’s head and he held on and rode it like a horse in the water. His body rose and fell with the waves, glistening bronzed in the sun exuding all the manly allure of a young strapping man in his prime.
Xing Yue and Yi Yang averted their eyes to be polite but Xiao Yao stared in appreciation and called out “Does it listen to you?” Hou smiled and said nothing but rode the fish around the boat a few more times. Xiao Yao clapped “This is so fun. I wanted a ride like this so I don’t need to swim anymore.”
Zhuan Xu mocked her “Dream on, with your powers you can to subdue a monster fish like this? It’s easier to make it your snack.”
Xiao Yao sighed, he was right.
Hou held onto the fish and used his other hand to strike its belly and pulled out a red ruby stone the size of an egg. He rinsed it in the ocean and then jumped on the boat.
The red ruby was crystal clear and glittered in the sun. Xing Yue said “Hou gege, can you give that to me?”
Normally Hou would give it to her but he smiled in apology “This fish ruby I need, next time I’ll have someone get you another.”
Xing Yue sad nothing and walked over to Yi Yang and then two girls stared out over the ocean. With everyone back, Zhuan Xu ordered the boat back to the port.
Hou went inside to change and Xiao Yao asked Feng Long “What kind of stone is that?”
Feng Long smiled “There is another Tu Shan son here, I’m not the one to talk about precious gems” He called Jing over “Xiao Yao wants to know what kind of gem is the fish ruby.”
Jing walked over to Xiao Yao “Actually it’s the inner power source of the demon fish of the deep seas. It comes in different colors but the red fish ruby is the most common, though one as crystal clear as that is very rare. It can be used as a jewel or accessory, or into medicine, or a top quality one can even be made into a magical object that can help a person breath underwater if it’s place in the mouth.”
When Jing was talking, Xiao Yao was zoning out until the last thing he said and she got interested “What’s considered top quality? Was that piece?”
“The more clear the color, the higher the quality. That piece was one of the best fish rubies.”
Feng Long said to Xiao Yao “This cannot be sought and can only be found by chance. If you want one, I’ll go ask my grandfather.”
Xiao Yao quickly said “I just found it pretty and was asking for fun.”
The ocean under the morning sun glittered like gold dust was sprinkled on it. A pack of sea birds flew over head and everyone looked out over the ocean to enjoy the view. Xiao Yao snuck a peek at Jing from under her veil. Jing sensed it and he lowered his eyes and smiled. Xiao Yao also smiled, even if she couldn’t talk to him or stand too close, but their hearts were aligned together and felt very close.
The boat reached shore and everyone got off. Feng Long’s servants already had their belongings all packed so they just needed to get back on the Chi Sui ship to head back to the Middle Plains.
Zhuan Xu led Xiao Yao to say their farewells, and with the talkative and smooth Zhuan Xu around, Xiao Yao only needed to bow and say a few words. Xing Yue’s eyes were slightly red and she stood on the ship with her brother but kept looking back at Zhuan Xu.
Jing got on the ship and stood by the railing to stare at Xiao Yao. The ships left and Zhuan Xu waved to them but Xiao Yao stood there silently. The wind blew the veil on her face and outline her features as she stood there tall in her yellow robe, like a flower blooming in the sunlight.
Jing stared until she was gone from sight and he closed his eyes. Xiao Yao, Xiao Yao…..
Zhuan Xu and Xiao Yao returned to Cheng En Palace and he pulled her hat off and sighed “You got slapped by Ah Nian? I need to go see what number you did on her.”
Xiao Yao said “She and I resolved our issues, and what happens in the future, only fate will determine.”
Zhuan Xu said with a smile “When I got back on the boat and asked the servant, he said he fell asleep last night. Did you and Jing have a good time?”
Xiao Yao smirked back at him “Someone jumped in the ocean without fear for his life. Did you have fun?”
Zhuan Xu casually said “If she wants to play for real, then we’ll just have to wait and see!”
Xiao Yao asked in confusion “How do you guys know when a girl is for real? Even if she’s for real, what kind of real is it? Some real may handle eighty partings, but not the eighty-first. Some real can handle poverty, others can only handle wealthy. Some real can be good in safety, but in tragedy goes their separate ways. Some couples grow old together but it’s not real between them, yet they manage to make it work because they were never faced with any test.”
Zhuan Xu laughed “Your questions are giving me a headache. If you ask how I know, I don’t know other than I can feel it. One cold heart, one clear set of eyes, I’ve experienced a lot so I can see very clearly.”
Xiao Yao asked “What if you see wrong?”
Zhuan Xu softly said “The only way to guarantee not being wrong is to have a cold heart.”
Xiao Yao scrunched up her face “I thought you had a better idea!”
“I don’t. I think even the grandfather of ours that is so ruthless and brilliant that he strikes fear in everyone, even he can’t see genuinely through a person’s heart.”
Xiao Yao chuckled wearily “The Xuan Yuan Yellow Emperor!”
Zhuan Xu said “Grandmother, Mom and Dad, Auntie, and Eldest Uncle and Second Uncle….their graves have been unattended for too many years. Next year at Auntie’s remembrance day, I vow I will be standing on Cao Yun Peak in Xuan Yuan Montain.”
Xiao Yao’s eyes misted with tears and she nodded “Yes!”